Ode to Calvin

You are such a dumb cat.
You were pampered and loved.


You were a good friend.
You let small boys pet, hold, squish and carry you without a grumble.



You were the most loving pet I've ever had.


You are so stubborn.
I would have kept you forever and let you sleep next to me or one of my babes every night.


You just kept peeing on the floor.
Now you live on a farm, and I miss you every day.
I hope you like peeing in the hay.
All winter I've wondered are you warm and fed?
You would have been here.

If only you would have used your box.
I hope you are enjoying the cows.
You are such a dumb cat.
We miss you.

words from the past

It's easy for me to forget that my Grandmother once was a young mom of two energetic boys (two girls were later to follow, after my Grandfather returned from war). A while back my aunt found this note, presumably written to my Grandfather when they had the two small boys, my uncles Dave and Steve.

"My boys." - Yes it is OK if you call them mine when they are bad, but only to me. Please don't forget that a lot of so-called "badness" is overwhelming energy and overweening curiosity. But then I don't need to tell you. I'm just remembering that when you are tired and busy it is so easy to be short and impatient and tykes don't understand the sudden reprimands and simply become rebellious and adamant to cover hurt confusion.

that grandma

Today we made poached eggs for lunch. Ian and I love to cook together. He is my "sous chef". He even loves to sit with me while I fold laundry and watch the food network. At the dentist they ask him what he wants on the t.v., Disney or Nickelodeon, and he says, "food". I love it. Anyway, mom got us an egg poacher for my birthday a few weeks ago. We tried it out today, and we were discussing how perfect it is for us, since there are three sections, and three of us when Matt is away at work. Ian says, "that grandma, she knows how to take away all our troubles". :-)

We are anxiously awaiting the arrival of warm weather. We have all had it with the cold. We keep bundling up whenever it is at least sunny, and pretending that outdoor play time is here. I even got part of the garage organized the other day while we were pretending it was warm.

I'm still processing things from the parenting seminar. (to give proper credit, all of these ideas are coming from the National Center for Biblical Parenting, and from their books Parenting is Heart Work & Good and Angry: Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Kids. The authors are Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN) So far the main things we've tried to implement are teaching the kids to come when they are called, and changing our resolution to time outs. The idea behind the child coming when called is to value the relationship more than the instruction. This is fundamental to the way God interacts with us. He looks at the heart, and always seeks to establish relationship with us in any interaction. When we are close to our child and even looking in their eyes they can see our intent and our heart, and we can see theirs. We can be more sensitive to what is going on with them before giving an instruction, and gauge their attitude, and our instruction will be more meaningful to them. In the end the hands still get washed before dinner or the toy still gets picked up, but hopefully without yelling across the house and without steamrolling over anyone. This prepares them not only to receive our instructions, but teachers, future employers, and ultimately to learn how to relate to God. (See 1 Samuel 3)

The resolution to time out has changed in that it used to go something like this: you did something wrong, you go sit in time out for x number of minutes (we followed the Supernanny idea of one minute per years of age) then I "discuss" what happened with you. Most of the time, to be honest, that was a moment for me to vent my frustration by exclaiming over the wrong committed and then demanding an apology. Now time out lasts for as long as it needs to. In other words, sometimes you feel sorry for doing wrong right away and are ready to make amends. Other times you need quite a bit longer. That's true for everyone, right? The discussion time at the end of a time out now has me asking simple questions and waiting for the answers that show me a heart change has taken place. At these ages those questions are mainly "What did you do wrong?" and then, "What are you going to do about it?" It's surprised me how much Ian can really get in touch with these thoughts. Of course I have to sometimes guide him depending on what answers he gives. But whatever his answer I always find out something about his heart in that moment.

Well this post has become much longer than I had anticipated! The kids are actually napping well today and my lap is full of warm kitty cat. It's lovely to have some peaceful time to reflect and type!

blizzard!

As you probably know, the past couple of days Ohio, specifically Columbus, has gotten a record snowfall. Last time it snowed this much here according to the news was 1910. Everything is shut down. Nothing to do but spend time with your family and have fun! I've posted some pictures taken this morning of the McElheny family playing in the snow. A couple of tidbits to go along with:

We measured the snow on our deck at 22 inches yesterday.

A bird somehow got sucked into our heat pump unit outside during the storm as the big fan was turning on. Not pleasant. No idea how we're going to remove the "evidence". All of us were horrified. How did the poor thing get in there? (Don't worry - no pictures of that.)

You may notice that our street actually did get plowed! This almost never happens. But seriously, in this situation if there were an emergency there would be no way vehicles could pass our neighborhood without at least the one swipe of the plow that you see in the pictures.

Caleb went down the hill in his big brother's disc sled by himself! He did great! He held on and had a perfect smooth ride. When he reached the bottom he let us know he did NOT appreciate it, thank you very much. :-) It's been sort of a theme since Caleb arrived in our world that I capture these moments on film. Somehow, it represents to me how far I've come as a mom. When he cries over something like this, I can just laugh and take a picture and know he's fine.

Hope everyone is staying warm and making the most of the opportunity to be stranded with your loved ones!

thankful

I posted that last post unfinished because where it left off leads into saying that Ian is doing soooo much better and this is an answer to prayer! He's gone from 1-2 hours every day and intense frustration about it, to only a few minutes a week of any urgency. And when it does happen, we both are dealing with it much more calmly. Also I think you could see a bit of the "mommy guilt" coming through and I know that most other moms I know deal with that at times.

We went to a parenting conference a couple weekends ago. It was excellent. It was put on by the National Center for Biblical Parenting and they have some awesome resources that I'm going through right now. I was so thankful that my husband gave up his Saturday to come with me and was so ready to learn along with me. For an at home mom to have an all day Saturday event is really something to look forward to, but for someone who is away from home each weekday for so many hours I know he really treasures his Saturdays! Anyway perhaps I will go into more specifics later but it was pretty much just what we needed.

Matthew was asked to speak in our church's contemporary service this past weekend for 8-10 minutes. There were three other men who spoke before him. It was just a testimony about what God has been doing in his life, past and present. He didn't share with me any of what he was going to say before he went up there, and none of it was news to me, but he still completely impressed me! There is nothing quite like seeing your husband stand in front of a crowd of people and share from his heart - being transparent, letting God move in the hearts of others by what he shares. My husband is most comfortable at home. As I said he treasures that time - I guess deep down we both are introverts. So it's not often I feel like the rest of the world gets a taste of how wonderful he really is. I see it all the time, but when he was finished speaking I felt like hopping up and shouting, "That's my man!" I didn't, of course, but the thought did run through my head. :-)

Now I have a boy awake, and another who probably ought to be, so I will wrap this up. Will try to post some pictures soon. Esp. before and afters of the basement!!