Ugh

Well, it's been a very long day for everyone. We'll pick up where we left off tomorrow. While Caleb can repeat back and teach the doll and everyone else that pee doesn't go on the floor, putting that into practice will apparently be taking quite a bit more time. We had a lot of positive moments today, and I think we laid a good foundation. We also had five different pee accidents, which is rather amazing for the amount of time that he did sit on the potty in just a few short hours. Right now, I just want to go to sleep and pretend like we didn't start all this when we get up tomorrow!! I know that we won't - we're not going back - but for now... ugh.

So Far, So Good

This little guy is taking his job very seriously. He has been potty training his doll Paul for the morning, and he is really doing a good job. He's never had a moment's hesitation or lack of interest. I seem to remember Ian was not quite as easy of a sell on this...








The other big observation is how calm and laid back this kid is when big brother is out for the day!!! He is just not nearly as active and rambunctious a temperament as Ian. When they're together Caleb "rises to the occasion". On his own he is content to sit quietly for much longer and plays much more slowly. I feel like I'm on vacation. I love my I-man so much - and Caleb is missing Ian and Daddy - yet for a mom who didn't get much sleep last night it is relaxing to go back to the "one child" feeling temporarily and especially one child who is so much less wild! At the same time, I can't wait to hear Matt's stories tonight of all the adventures he and Ian are having right now. You never run short on adventure with Ian. :-)



So the next step is to put Caleb in underwear for the afternoon, pump him full of liquids and dance, hop, skip, jump, sing, and ride the "poo poo train" to the potty over and over all afternoon, and praise the tar out of him (no pun intended) when he succeeds. I don't know how it will go, but I'm taking it as a good sign that when I had to change his pull up towards the end of the morning, he didn't want a clean one back on because he wanted to show Paul how he goes pee and poop on the potty. Then just now after he'd been put down for his nap he got up and peed in the potty upstairs, keeping the pull up dry. I hinted that the pull up he has on right now might be one of his last and he was very excited at that idea. I anticipate enthusiasm about trying to be a big kid - but not necessarily clean pants for at least a few more days.



Anyway I hope you enjoy the pictures, I'm off to set out the big boy underwear, make various tasty beverages and put up Caleb's big boy chart (and maybe even nap)!:

Potty Party Day

Today's the BIG DAY. Always nice when the trainee (who is at this point unaware that it's potty party day) gets up and without prompting comes in the bathroom first thing, pulls off his drawers and makes a poop in his pot, then declares he's keeping his pull ups clean and dry today.

"No more diapers for me"..... yay!

some insights

Mom sent an interesting article today. At the end of a recent but long post, I asked if anyone had insight into when to allow your child some independence with outdoor play. No one has commented, but I know that there are some of you out there reading...

The upshot of this article was to consider your child's previous behaviors and gauge their maturity, in combination with the potential risk level for whatever activity you're considering. Their example was an 11 year old girl being allowed to go the mall unsupervised or not.

My conclusion in my situation: Ian does not show signs of thinking through outcomes or being aware of injury risk in other situations, (i.e. I think I'll turn my little tikes sled upside down and ski on it down mommy's staircase... just to see what happens... thank God I discovered him in the nick of time at the top of the stairs, rather than whatever I would have discovered at the bottom) and the risks are high when it involves bike riding with streets and driveways nearby. So - he's not ready.

I can't say this is unaffected by recent events with Steven Curtis Chapman's family and others I know of who have lost children. My family tendency leans toward overprotective... and I don't want to stifle growing independence, but in this case safety seems more important than independence.

All this leads to the next question: how do I say, "kiddo you are just too little" without crushing his spirit? (Many of you know first hand, four year old boys desperately want to be big like daddy!) I've had a few attempts at this discussion just today but am not sure how successful they were.

here goes

It's potty party time for Mr. Caleb Matthew!

a post for grandpa

My dad is away in Chicago this week. He usually sees my boys on Wednesday nights, so I thought I'd share this video I came across last night just for him. And this is saying something because I really prefer the ones where you can't see me!! Just focus on Caleb people. He's the cute one.

treasures

One of the things I love the most about being an at-home mom is getting to catch the "out of nowhere" questions that my boys throw at me. Mostly, that Ian throws at me. They are usually hysterically funny, or, the deepest things you want to be able to convey, with no prep time.

For example: thrown into a simple discussion about what happened at preschool that day, "mommy, does every part of you die when you die?" I explained to him that our bodies die and go away into the ground, but that our souls will go to heaven to be with Jesus. I tried to explain that his soul is "him". His heart and mind and who he is. I hope that message came through clearly. He asked more specifics... will his eyes die? what about his nose? etc. etc. and I answered yes, every part of your body, but not your heart and mind - those will be with God. He seemed satisfied and settled into his nap then.

Can I just say I am so thankful to God and to my husband that I get to be home for these moments! These are the type of questions that I want to be there for and answer or try to answer myself. The moments come and go quickly. I'd hate to miss that.

Here's another example I've been trying to remember all of... because this was a much more long and involved, (and correspondingly meaningful) conversation. Early in the discussion he said something like "Mommy, I love you and Daddy and Caleb. I love every one in our family. I love Jesus too." I asked, "Ian, did God love you first, or did you love God first?" He thought for a couple minutes and then said "God loved me first. Then I found out about Jesus and then I just started loving him more and more." Often my bedtime questions are met with silly responses, so at that point I knew he was ready to have one of our talks. We read through the 23rd Psalm (an inspiration from Kelle - whose blog I highly recommend, linked to the right, for mom insights and for glimpses of the life of a soldier in Afghanistan.) and when I finished Ian asked "what does anoint my head with oil" mean? I tried to explain... probably not well... but part of the explanation was about symbols. I ended up giving him the example of my wedding ring to try and explain symbols. Then he asked, "will you tell me a story about your wedding?" After some questions about what he meant I realized he wanted to know about how we decided to get married.

The story telling went something like this:
Well Ian, Daddy and Mommy met when they were in college at Miami. First we were friends (yeah, you liked to be together and have fun)
Yes, and then we became very good friends and then we fell in love with each other.
(you smiled a lot?)
Yes, we wanted to spend a lot of time together and we were very happy. Then after a while Daddy asked me to marry him, and I said yes! That's when he gave me the first part of my ring. So then we planned a wedding and we got married, and then I had the other part of my ring.
(And then I came along, right?)
No, not quite, that took a bit longer.
(Well what happened right after your wedding?)
Well, we went on our honeymoon.
(what's that?)
We went on vacation together.
(And you stayed overnight?)
We stayed for a week, and yes, that was the first time that we stayed overnight together. Can I tell you something else that's very special Ian?
(yeah)
Before Daddy asked mommy to marry him, back when we were starting to think we were in love, do you know what we did?
(what?)
We prayed Ian.
(yeah, you talked to God)
Yes, Daddy prayed to God and asked what God wanted us to do, and He felt like God showed him that we were supposed to get married. And I prayed too and asked God, and I also felt that God wanted us to get married. Isn't that special?
([very excited], yeah!)
We also talked to our parents, and grandma and grandpa thought that we should get married, and so did Mamaw and Papaw too.
(yeah, and then you got married and had me!)
Well, yes, something like that. :-)

I apologize to those of you who are sticklers about punctuation. I know my posts are awful that way. Usually I am trying to just get out whatever it is that's been percolating in my brain, and once I'm finished I have no time to edit for punctuation. Like right now. I've got to get ready for swim lessons.

But first, one of the more amusing moments from last night: Matt was leaving for a meeting and gave me a hug and kiss goodbye. Ian was standing there bouncing around us in his usual "daddy is home in the evening" excitement. He says, "Mommy and Dadddy, you are both wearing my favorite color! Daddy's wearing dark red and Mommy's wearing light red and that's my favorite color and you're both wearing red, and you just can't get apart from each other!"

Not sure if he was thinking that the redness was keeping us together or if he was trying to say we should stop kissing already...

nothing much

I started typing a post the other day, and never finished... I have really been enjoying others' blogs lately, seems like everyone is typing away about things that really matter. Not sure that I have anything deep to share tonight, but it does inspire me to blog anyway. Today started out with the Walk for Life, the boys and I went and met up with friends there. Matt stayed home to wage further war against the groundhog (that's another story in itself) and finish up some other projects. Ian's favorite part of the Walk was seeing the Santa Maria anchored in the river right next to our path. He is truly convinced there are pirates in there because he saw a periscope (so he claims) and wants to go back and go inside as soon as possible. This evening my fabulous husband announced that I was to have a special mother's day evening out. We went to dinner and then took a walk, then Ian suggested going to Rita's, our favorite Italian ice place. Today was a warm day with the sun shining, but by this point in the day things were cooling off. We probably looked pretty interesting sitting on that bench - boys' faces covered in chocolate ice cream, with a red plaid blanket over us and the boys and I had our hoods up. We were shivering but enjoying every moment.

So here's a question for you moms out there. At what age did you let your kids go out to play unsupervised? What things did you look for in them to know they were ready? It seems this summer that Ian and several of the neighborhood boys have been eyeing each other and their various forms of transportation (bikes, rollerblades, etc.) and I'm anticipating that question of "can he come out to play?" Right now I allow Ian to go out both in the (unfenced) backyard to climb our apple tree and in the front to ride his bike on our sidewalk as long as I can see him "often enough" through the windows and as long as he is checking back in with me. Usually I am leaving the door open and either sitting in the doorway (when one is in and the other out) or right by an open window. I'd love to have some input from others who've gone through this stage with their kiddos.

I hope that everyone has a joyous mother's day. I think this is becoming one of my more favorite holidays - it's just really really nice to have that acknowledgement that what you do day to day matters. I know it matters to God, and that he sees every dirty sock picked up off the floor and every bottom wiped, but it's nice to know when it matters to those around you too. Happy Mother's Day!