funnels

Here is something that's been kicking around in my brain lately that actually does not directly have anything to do with my kids! Wonder of wonders.

There is an analogy that I was taught where I used to work, by our abstinence education teachers. (please don't stop reading if you disagree with abstinence-only sex education... I am not actually going to write on that subject here... but if you want to talk about it post a comment and I will gladly go there!)

The analogy is of a funnel. I believe it applies to a lot more than just decisions about sex. The more I think about it and the more I see different friends and family members going through life the more it is just a good analogy. If you, while you are young, live your life in the broad part of the funnel, "living large", not taking care with decisions, doing what you want in order to "live in the moment", spending your money carelessly, etc. etc., you cause your future to dwindle into the narrow part of the funnel. You have fewer and fewer options. Life gets harder and harder because you've backed yourself into a corner.

On the other hand if you live in the narrow part of the funnel: take care to plan ahead and work toward goals. Be willing to make some sacrifices or harder choices, Practice self denial in certain areas (again, not just sexually) you pave the way to one day live in the broader part of the funnel, where more opportunities will come your way and you will have more options of what kind of life you want to live. You won't be a slave to negative consequences of your former decisions, but freed up by good choices you made.

Of course there are things that happen in life you can't control, but all this I guess is a complicated way (that makes a lot of sense to me) of saying your choices now really do affect your future. You were given free will. Use it wisely. :-)

wean baby wean

Caleb sits here in my lap just having guzzled down a 5 ounce bottle of formula. He seems completely content and satisfied. But bottle feeding is just not nearly as satisfying for me as nursing! He has acquired a tooth, one that he has used to bite his mommy while nursing several times now. With Ian the same behavior went on at the same time and though "the books" said he would learn to stop biting, despite different efforts of mine he never did. So, since it began with Caleb I have pretty much decided to start the weaning process now and forego repeating the months of struggle and pain to try to get the biting to cease. Yet in those months of struggling with my firstborn, it all confirmed that the only option was to stop nursing. Now with Caleb, the time of day to make his bottle comes and a big part of me questions, should I really do this, or should I just nurse him? I suppose that part of motherhood is second-guessing yourself. At least it seems to be a fairly regular theme for me anyway.

I don't think I am actually wavering in my decision, but just needing to explore and accept my emotions about it. Nursing definitely is satisfying to me. There is an incomparable feeling of meeting my child's needs perfectly. It doesn't rely on my creativity or intelligence, it is a God- designed system that perfectly nourishes and comforts both of us every time. I am sure that mothers who do not breastfeed are still completely bonded to their children, but I personally can't imagine not nursing any of my babies. I have several friends who have expressed amazement that I nurse my children for as long as I do - they equate it with lots of effort and dedication. I look at them counting up ounces, toting bottles and expensive formula and sterilization equipment and warmers and think how in the world do they do it? As long as I am there we automatically have the perfect amount of fresh warm milk - no questions asked.

But obviously God did not design this to continue endlessly. These little creatures do grow teeth! They do learn to eat solid foods. And I know that it is only another 4 months and he will be on whole milk from a sippy cup. I want to wean slowly so we can both adjust to it one feeding at a time. We have so many things we are planning to do this summer and Caleb just won't leave a nursing shawl or blanket on us anymore when we are out in public.

I suppose the bottom line is that my baby is growing up and I am not ready for it! I am able to appreciate and enjoy his babyhood in a new way that I didn't with Ian.

Ian quote from today:
"I need one of Daddy's ties Mommy"
"Why?"
"I'm going on my tricycle to the wedding to go and marry Daddy!"

Mommy, did you swallow a cow?

Things have been going well at the McElheny household. Caleb is 7 months now and has one tooth, is sitting up, and every great once in a while will sleep through the night. Or at least, make it from 11 p.m. to 6 a.m. without nursing. He is so smiley and happy and content and is a perfect 20+ pound chunk of baby love. He is getting more and more blonde hair all the time. I think I may have to trim it over his ears soon. He is also doing lots of vocal experimentation. For about a week the continual experiment was to just scream as loud as he could - this was done when he was happy, bored, upset... basically anytime, or what ended up feeling like all the time. I learned a lot about how much I've been conditioned while we've been disciplining Ian for these things. I hear that noise and instantly start to say, "time out!" and the blood pressure goes up a few points - then I realize it's just Caleb, and he is not old enough for time out yet. At least that one seemed to be fairly short lived, now we are on to some strange form of raspberries with his fingers in his mouth and growling. Lots of growling. Especially at my friend Krista's 8 month old girl. I think they are in love. :-)

Ian is 2 1/2 years old and has just figured out all the basics of tricycle riding. The best is when he packs his "trunk" (basket on the back of the tricycle) with his play cell phone, keys, his little Clifford bank with money inside and his "diaper bag" (a little soft dog house toy). Then he says "Bye bye momma, I'm going to work, I'll see you later, have a good day, bye bye!" He LOVES it and I LOVE to watch him. I am so proud of him when he tackles these things that were once difficult for him. For example. We have a zoo membership (thanks mammaw and papaw) and there is an incredible play area at our zoo. It's about four "kid" stories high with all sorts of slides and climbing features. For a while there it was hard for Ian to navigate through it and get to the bigger slides. He was especially unsure about climbing over the netting areas. One day I called up to him from the ground while he was shouting, "I can't do it mommy, I can't I can't!" I said, "Ian, what would Bob the Builder say?" So he sat and thought a minute, got a determined look on his face and said, "Can I do it? YES I CAN!" and plowed on through and got to the slide he wanted to go down.

Potty training is basically on hold. He knows what the rewards are (stamps on his hands for #1, a dum dum sucker for #2) and consistently goes potty right before his bath but we tried putting him in underwear and we had several accidents and he would just ask for diapers back on before making #2. So, we keep talking about it and he seems mildly interested at times but pretty much prefers to run in his play room and lean over his slide in order to do his business. Oh well. He'll do it when he's ready, or so they say.

I just love to watch the wheels turn in his little mind. The other day I was putting on his shoes and just finishing up a snack. He asked me what I was eating and could he see in my mouth. I swallowed my snack and opened up - he peers all around in there and then looks up at me seriously, "Mommy, did you eat a cow? Did you swallow a cow's udd?" I was completely confused for a minute, "a cow's udder?, No Ian, I didn't eat a cow." Then I realized what he was saying... my uvula!! "Ian, do you mean that little part that is hanging down in mommy's mouth?" "Yeah! The cow's udd!" At this point Matt and I were just cracking up - no Ian, that is mommy's uvula. Everyone has one in the back of their mouth like that. Now he thinks it is an especially fun game to come up to me with a glint in his eye and say, "Mommy, you have a uvula!" I say, "No Ian, YOU have a uvula." and he lets out a big "HA!" and round and round we go. What a nut.