Friday, April 07, 2006

Pre. S. There are updated pics in the gallery again.

Why is it I can be so effective getting things done when I'm on my own with two kids, but if Matt is home and relaxing, I don't want to lift a finger!! We are supposed to be cleaning right now for weekend guests but he is snoring on the couch, so I am blogging instead. Ah well. It's been a really long time and I have lots to say anyway. Besides, nothing like a really warm and slightly stormy night for snoring on the couch. :-)

Favorite Ian quotes of late:

"Mommy, you never never play in the car without mommy or daddy or grandma or grandpa. That's what grandpa says."
(after driving his little toy car) "Grandpa, you never never get in my car without Ian."
"Grandpa, you're a nice nice nice grandpa."
"Daddy, grandma's lap is squishy. Your lap is just right."
"Awwwww, Caleb, HI Caleb! I give you a hug and a kiss on your soft soft head" (I can't do his intonation justice in writing. Suffice it to say he is very enthusiastic when he sees Caleb each morning)

I know there are more but I can never remember them all when I sit down to put them in writing!

Last week a very good friend of mine moved away. I knew when I met her 3 years ago that this was the plan... it was always the plan... Columbus was just a short stop on their way to meeting their future goals... but it is tough to say goodbye. In those three years we worked together, prayed together, dreamed together about starting our families, were pregnant at the same time twice, (fed our cravings together, discussed every new twinge, ache, and pain, visited tiny bundles in hospitals) shared in one another's adjustments to motherhood, and motherhood again, shared in sleepless nights and marital stresses due to parenthood, and occasionally even got to have a highly coveted girls' outing without kids. I provided both pet care and child care at one time or another. We took our kids to swim lessons together. In the name of keeping company while her husband was at boot camp she helped me paint all my cabinets and tear out wallpaper and paint rooms when we moved into our house. She even cleaned out paintbrushes in my bathtub several times. Now that is a friend. We went to their house last week moments before they got in the cars to leave. Even having known that this was the plan all along it did not take away the shock of seeing the house empty and saying goodbye. Ian was so sweet. "Mommy, where are Mikey's toys? Where is Mikey's bed?" and on the way home, "Mommy, don't be sad. It's okay mommy, I'll give you a hug when we get home." I think it actually helped both Ian and I to see the empty condo because it made it real. If they had just come over and dropped something off and left again it would have just seemed like maybe we would do the same thing again next week.

Maybe this is one reason why my brain just won't seem to let go of another old friendship that is still geographically close but the relationship has dwindled away to almost nothing. So today I sent off an e-mail I wrote a few weeks back and have sat on ever since trying to put into words that hey, I didn't mean for this to happen... I can use all the friends that I can get. I think it's so hard for old friendships to morph and adapt to all the life changes and changes in people. Especially friendships that span back to high school. I was such a completely different person then. Maintaining a friendship for that long requires developing a whole new relationship but keeping some of the old things that drew you together in the first place. I haven't figured out that balance. Let's just be honest. The friendships that begin because you are in the same classes and the same student organizations and you have a similar sense of humor, upbringing, and desire to talk about the opposite sex, just have a much harder time holding on and staying meaningful than those friendships that are based on shared beliefs and ideals. You still love the people, but interaction just doesn't flow as easily.

Well if you are still reading you are either one of the folks I've been writing about or are probably procrastinating something else you should be doing... so let me help you out... I'm signing off.