wean baby wean

Caleb sits here in my lap just having guzzled down a 5 ounce bottle of formula. He seems completely content and satisfied. But bottle feeding is just not nearly as satisfying for me as nursing! He has acquired a tooth, one that he has used to bite his mommy while nursing several times now. With Ian the same behavior went on at the same time and though "the books" said he would learn to stop biting, despite different efforts of mine he never did. So, since it began with Caleb I have pretty much decided to start the weaning process now and forego repeating the months of struggle and pain to try to get the biting to cease. Yet in those months of struggling with my firstborn, it all confirmed that the only option was to stop nursing. Now with Caleb, the time of day to make his bottle comes and a big part of me questions, should I really do this, or should I just nurse him? I suppose that part of motherhood is second-guessing yourself. At least it seems to be a fairly regular theme for me anyway.

I don't think I am actually wavering in my decision, but just needing to explore and accept my emotions about it. Nursing definitely is satisfying to me. There is an incomparable feeling of meeting my child's needs perfectly. It doesn't rely on my creativity or intelligence, it is a God- designed system that perfectly nourishes and comforts both of us every time. I am sure that mothers who do not breastfeed are still completely bonded to their children, but I personally can't imagine not nursing any of my babies. I have several friends who have expressed amazement that I nurse my children for as long as I do - they equate it with lots of effort and dedication. I look at them counting up ounces, toting bottles and expensive formula and sterilization equipment and warmers and think how in the world do they do it? As long as I am there we automatically have the perfect amount of fresh warm milk - no questions asked.

But obviously God did not design this to continue endlessly. These little creatures do grow teeth! They do learn to eat solid foods. And I know that it is only another 4 months and he will be on whole milk from a sippy cup. I want to wean slowly so we can both adjust to it one feeding at a time. We have so many things we are planning to do this summer and Caleb just won't leave a nursing shawl or blanket on us anymore when we are out in public.

I suppose the bottom line is that my baby is growing up and I am not ready for it! I am able to appreciate and enjoy his babyhood in a new way that I didn't with Ian.

Ian quote from today:
"I need one of Daddy's ties Mommy"
"Why?"
"I'm going on my tricycle to the wedding to go and marry Daddy!"