that grandma

Today we made poached eggs for lunch. Ian and I love to cook together. He is my "sous chef". He even loves to sit with me while I fold laundry and watch the food network. At the dentist they ask him what he wants on the t.v., Disney or Nickelodeon, and he says, "food". I love it. Anyway, mom got us an egg poacher for my birthday a few weeks ago. We tried it out today, and we were discussing how perfect it is for us, since there are three sections, and three of us when Matt is away at work. Ian says, "that grandma, she knows how to take away all our troubles". :-)

We are anxiously awaiting the arrival of warm weather. We have all had it with the cold. We keep bundling up whenever it is at least sunny, and pretending that outdoor play time is here. I even got part of the garage organized the other day while we were pretending it was warm.

I'm still processing things from the parenting seminar. (to give proper credit, all of these ideas are coming from the National Center for Biblical Parenting, and from their books Parenting is Heart Work & Good and Angry: Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Kids. The authors are Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN) So far the main things we've tried to implement are teaching the kids to come when they are called, and changing our resolution to time outs. The idea behind the child coming when called is to value the relationship more than the instruction. This is fundamental to the way God interacts with us. He looks at the heart, and always seeks to establish relationship with us in any interaction. When we are close to our child and even looking in their eyes they can see our intent and our heart, and we can see theirs. We can be more sensitive to what is going on with them before giving an instruction, and gauge their attitude, and our instruction will be more meaningful to them. In the end the hands still get washed before dinner or the toy still gets picked up, but hopefully without yelling across the house and without steamrolling over anyone. This prepares them not only to receive our instructions, but teachers, future employers, and ultimately to learn how to relate to God. (See 1 Samuel 3)

The resolution to time out has changed in that it used to go something like this: you did something wrong, you go sit in time out for x number of minutes (we followed the Supernanny idea of one minute per years of age) then I "discuss" what happened with you. Most of the time, to be honest, that was a moment for me to vent my frustration by exclaiming over the wrong committed and then demanding an apology. Now time out lasts for as long as it needs to. In other words, sometimes you feel sorry for doing wrong right away and are ready to make amends. Other times you need quite a bit longer. That's true for everyone, right? The discussion time at the end of a time out now has me asking simple questions and waiting for the answers that show me a heart change has taken place. At these ages those questions are mainly "What did you do wrong?" and then, "What are you going to do about it?" It's surprised me how much Ian can really get in touch with these thoughts. Of course I have to sometimes guide him depending on what answers he gives. But whatever his answer I always find out something about his heart in that moment.

Well this post has become much longer than I had anticipated! The kids are actually napping well today and my lap is full of warm kitty cat. It's lovely to have some peaceful time to reflect and type!